Sunday, March 21, 2010

Welcome to my blog

I just wanted to let my readers know that they are welcome here, so thank you for stopping by.  I love your friendship, I love your prayers, I love your comments and your private emails. I love your messages of hope for me. I love your messages that tell me how I have helped you with something I've said in one of my posts.

I have mentioned before and have known for a long time that there are people I know personally that are reading. It has recently come to my attention that this fact has not changed, and that there are perhaps MANY people that fit this description.

You are also welcome to be here.  You are welcome to read and cry with me and comment and pray and learn something from my journey. I just have a couple of requests.  If you are someone I know, will you let me know that you are reading?  Will you comment with a "hey, I'm here!" or send me a message or yes, even tell me in person.  I hope that I have not offended anyone as I have blogged my journey, vented my innermost feelings, both as a way of coping and as a way of hoping that maybe someone out there can learn from and be uplifted by my journey, knowing they are not alone, or that maybe someone out there has something to offer me, not really in advice, but in support and friendship and love, as I seek answers from within my heart and from my Heavenly Father.

If you are not comfortable with what I write, if you feel you have to remain anonymous and/or report it to the bishop or principal or whomever you think should know, here is just a friendly reminder that even though my blog is public, this fact in no way REQUIRES you to read it. So rather than taking it hard, and complaining or crying to someone else about it, either stop reading, or better yet, come talk to me about it personally.  Chances are we will then have a conversation that will strengthen our friendship, that will help you know better what you can do for me and my family.

The one person I feel closest to in the ward is someone who has done just that, who has not beat around the bush, but has come right over, asked pointed questions, and loved Scott and I for who we are, with no judgement regarding our choices or parties or friends or struggles. That is all we want and need from any of you. Sincere friends that really do care.

I hope I am not in further trouble with this post. I really am just being honest, and regardless of the consequences of my honesty in this blog, I feel that the influence I can have in helping people understand that our leaders are not flawless, that the gospel is true and important to me regardless of what any of the people in the church have said or done, is greater than any damage that I could have done in the process.

I planned to blog about my uplifting day today as I attended a fabulous Sacrament meeting and then read outside in the sunshine.  About the wonderful people I talked to, and the awesome conversations I had, and the incredible people that are in my ward. I hope that it will still be forthcoming.

Thanks again for reading.  Love you all. (Yes, even you. :)

11 comments:

JennyO said...

Hey Sarah! Just thought I'd let you know I do follow your blog and enjoy keeping up on your life (since I don't see you guys nearly enough). I really don't know how you juggle everything in your life. It's even fuller than mine! :) Anyway, just remember I love you no matter what, and if you ever need anything, that is what family is for! Love you tons!

Dani said...

I read all the time. You are awesome babe and I am keeping you and Scott in my prayers!! <3 I had an uplifting day today too.

Lirpa said...

Just to let you know I am reading. I have often wanted to comment on your struggles but am usually at a loss as what to say. Your journey with the LDS church has been far different from mine.

Just know I love you and your family.

Anne

Sarah said...

Jenny, didn't realize, but thanks for letting us know. Any efforts from family to understand means a lot to Scott.

Dani, I figured. I'm sorry for your struggles right now as well, but I am glad that going back to church is going well for you. We really need to talk. Did you ever think when you caught the bouquet at my wedding that either of us would possibly end up where we are? Take care, we need to talk again about getting together when you are in town.

Anne, thanks, and I figured you were still reading as well. I have thought of calling and getting our kids together again, but obviously I have not been doing much of anything other than working and coping. Are you going to be around Easter weekend? We should get together. I need to update you on my dads upcoming heart surgery.

El Genio said...

Still reading, still grateful for all that you guys do. You da best!

Anonymous said...

Sarah-its Damon in Colorado, long lost but not forgotten. I did take a little break but I am still here reading!

I love you and Scott both. I admire the courage, love and fearlessness that you both exhibit to me.

Thanks for standing up for what's right all the time.

~damon

Sarah said...

Thanks, el genio. Sure wish you lived closer. Glad to know you are still around.

Damon! I have so wondered what has become of you lately! Still cherish memories from your visit last year. Thanks for the comment, but I am certain that there are many anonymous readers that completely disagree that I stand up for what is right. If they agreed, I would still have a valid temple recommend.

Oh well. The happy side affect of me being frustrated with churchy people is that Scott and I then have a common frustration and therefore communicate and get along better again. :)

I still think I want the church in my life, and I want my kids to have the church. I just need to learn to worship on my own terms, and totally not care about my recommend or who is reading what and saying what to whom about my life and blog! Gotta follow my heart and the spirit and do what Heavenly Father knows is best for me and my family.

Anonymous said...

I love reading both your's and Scott's blogs. I,too, am struggling with the "conditional friendship" that Scott blogged about. I never would have thought all my "friends" would disappear when I stopped going to church. And this after being very active for nearly 20 years in the same ward. It just pushes me closer to others in the same situation and pulls me farther from the church. Keep on blogging! You're a light in the darkness to many of us.

Sarah said...

Thanks, anonymous.

Your statement "It just pushes me closer to other in the same situation and pulls me farther from the church" is exactly why my blog is keeping me from having a temple recommend...

But your statement "You're a light in the darkness to many of us" is exactly why I CANNOT let go of my blog, even if it means no recommend.

Many would say that my priorities are definitely in the wrong place (having a blog over having a temple recommend), but I can't deny the fact that I feel like I am helping the people that God wants me to help by keeping my blog as is!

David Head said...

I just wanted to let you know that I have been following your blog and Scott's blog for the last while. I have really enjoyed reading it. I was in the ward growing up, and actually had Scott as a Teacher Quorum Advisor and he was also my Elders' Quorum President before I left on my mission.

I happened to find out that Scott had come out of the closet by chance one day about a year ago when I was going through his Facebook page. Like I said before, I have really enjoyed reading both of your blogs, and I can only imagine how hard everyone thing is for you and for family right now.

I remember you and Scott as really good people, and I'm sure that both of you still are. I'm sorry that the members of the ward have not been as supportive and understanding as they should be. Nobody's perfect. People very often have a hard time knowing how to deal with the something that is new and unfamiliar--as is homosexuality in the church. I wish you, Scott, and your family the best. Have faith, do your best, and everything will work out for your good. God bless.

draco said...

Still wishing you all the best out here in Boston.