Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Changed for Good

As many of you know, a few months ago our family adopted a young MoHo--more or less. He didn't really live here, but he came over at least 2 or 3 times a week--sometimes more. Scott reached out to him when he was in the depths of despair, and then as he allowed our family to become his family, we were able to share a lot of good and bad times with him.

We were together for birthdays, for holidays, for the excitement and every detail of his first boyfriend, a double-date to see "Were the World Mine" for Valentines, for the sadness and heartbreak of his first breakup, for the anxiety and liberation of his coming out to all of his family and friends. He shared every detail of his life with Scott every day, joined us for family prayer too many times to count, texted me every time a certain song came on the radio, and insisted that I join in his karaoke fun by singing his blog-title song with him at almost every party the last few months. I was finally starting to get the hang of it.

His life continued to improve and exciting changes meant he had less time to spend with us, and we missed him but we understood. But then came more good changes, the main one being to find what he believes to be the love of his life. We were excited for him! We wanted to hear the details again, meet him, double date, like we did with the last bf. But the details never came, and the visits never came, and then finally he came when we begged him to, but the closeness was gone, the karaoke and the good times gone forever.

As I have spent some time mourning the loss of this member of our family, and have watched my children miss and long for him as well, something occurred to me yesterday...

How often do some of us turn to God when we need him, pleading for his spirit and companionship and comfort? But then, when life is good and busy, how many of us have excuses why we don't have time to pray anymore, why we don't need to pray any more? Do you think that God might go through withdrawals from the details of our lives, that He stands by watching us, happy that we are happy, but sad that we no longer share the details and the love and gratitude with Him?

I'm pretty sure I do that very thing quite often because life is so busy. I forget when things are good not only how much I need Him in my life, but also, that He possibly might need me in His life. He has so many children, does it even matter when when one of us does not share the happiness of our lives with Him? I think it does.

I am grateful to learn good lessons from sad times in my life. We may not ever get back the closeness of the friend we had, but we can realize through the experience, he and us both have been changed for good, and I have been privileged to learn about the true nature of my Father in Heaven, and His love for me. Hopefully I can do better at letting Him be a part of my life.

For Good, from Wicked

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...


Kengo Biddles said...

I like this song a lot. It has the same spirit of "Each Life that Touches Ours For Good," but with a lot catchier tune. Now I want to listen to Wicked.

And I think that knowing you and your family has been a good thing for us, too.

Alan said...

More sage wisdom from Joan of Arc. Priceless.

Beck said...

I know you are, but be grateful for the time you've had together and the the influence for good you've had with each other. Sometimes these things come in seasons, at times often and frequent and at others, not so much. Lots of friendships are this way. And yes, our relationship with God is often that way as well.

Some friendships take work and effort to keep going. Some are strong while needs are being met. It is rare to have an effortless friendship that lasts forever. Be grateful for the amazing influence you are feeling and know that the longing you feel for a lost contact means that you risked your heart for investing good in others - and that ache-caused risk means you care, and you love.

In my book, that's something to cherish.

El Genio said...

I love this song! I used it as my warm-up for church for more than 6 months. Other than that I have nothing extremely insightful to add, just that you and Scott both rock. :)

tksinclair said...

Very thoughtful, and thought provoking post. I was thinking recently about going to church to "worship" God. How often I think of God in terms of myself...I forget that I'm here to WORSHIP him. It's not all about what I need or even thanking him for what I have but to WORSHIP him. How often I forget that I'm here to praise, honor and please God.

I often go to church thinking about what I get out of it. On the way home I've often thought of the sermon and how it applies to my life - but I recently realized I've been missing the point. I'm supposed to be there to worship God.

Your point of how we get connected when we need something; comfort, answers, direction, made me think again of this.

Judy said...

Beautiful, insightful post...thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

You don't say how old this person is but maybe he is young enough that maybe it has not occured to him yet what you have done for him. Children do have a way of taking things for granted. I just hope, however age he is, that at some point he is mature enough to realize what you have done for him and expresses that accordingly.


Sarah said...

Thank you for all of your comments. This post has been part of my mourning process.

Phillip, the friend is 22. Scott came up with another theory yesterday regarding why he has distanced himself from us. It is not appropriate to share here, and the more I think about it, I think Scott is right, and it makes me sad.

But life goes on, and he has in the past expressed gratitude to us, and I will be grateful for that, and move on otherwise. Time will heal the pain. There are other friends for our family to love and care for, and I am trying to focus on what we have gained rather than on what we have lost.

Ron Schow said...

I love the message of "For Good" and the happy memories of seeing "Wicked" two years ago on Broadway. The show has a great message that people thought to be wicked, may just be misunderstood. I'm in NYC today. Next week my brother and I have tickets to see "Billy Elliot" here which is another show with a great message.

Ron Schow said...

Nice post, Sarah. Thanks for sharing.

Over the Rainbow said...

I also love this song, and this show. I think your post is entirely true and while I'm still sorry for all the pain your family has suffered, I'm glad you are finding the light.

Just because he is distracted now doesn't change the love he has had for you over this past year. Those times still have the same importance for both him and your family- and I'm sure the good things in his life now are from the love and support and courage you and Scott gave him.

Love you!!