There have been several times that one of us has slept on the couch over the past 15 years. Usually the one that was upset would head to the couch, but generally would then come back to the bed after waking up partway through and realizing that sleeping in a comfortable place is more important than holding a grudge. Scott and I always thought that the marital advice to never go to bed angry was silly, since it is so much easier to work through things the next morning when we had both had some rest and could think rationally.
More recently, the couch has been used when our 5-year-old wet our bed, or this past week when I have quickly whisked the baby to the living room when he began to cry so that he would not wake up Scott and keep him from getting the sleep he needs to deal with his current stress at work.
But tonight, it is so much harder to deal with him sleeping on the couch, knowing he intends to never sleep in the same bed with me again.
Normally I would have my kids clamoring to share the bed with me, but they are all asleep for once, and so I lie here alone, wondering why me.
So many blog posts in my head. So lost. Don't have any idea how to sort through it all.
Must sleep, knowing that when I wake up in a couple of hours to feed the baby, that it was not just a nightmare, but my life.
God, please keep on helping me. I'm trying to have faith. I have been much stronger than I ever thought I could be, but I don't know if I can keep going.
"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
5 weeks ago