Blogging has been my therapy, but now it just seems to get me in trouble and make my life worse.
So I suppose I should seek some professional therapy. I will have met my insurance out-of-pocket maximum with the baby, so it won't even cost me anything the rest of the year. My children seem to be okay, but it might not be a bad idea to have a therapist check them out as well, especially the older two that know so much about everything and have stepped up to help take care of me and their brothers. My 12-year-old is especially a God-send. Scott and I were going to a great therapist prior to trying out someone from LDS family services, so I think I will start there.
Meanwhile, I don't know what the future of this blog will be. There are people that have told me this all along, but I suppose it is not right to publicly express personal details of my relationship with Scott and my interactions with church leaders. I guess maybe I will focus on good things that are going on in my life and in the world with regards to gay rights. My goal has not been to hurt anyone, but to vent and to document my journey. But it seems that hurting people has been the main result, and I just can't do that anymore.
So in keeping with my new goal for this blog, I will start with a message from the movie that the boys and I are watching tonight: the sun will come out tomorrow!
4 years ago
2 comments:
I have really enjoyed reading and learning from your blog. I'm sorry that it has created some negative consequences from you.
If you need to abandon the blog or make a change, please know that many have benefited from it.
I understand the challenges you may face with what you post. Many times I read your blog with envy - of your courage to just say what you are thinking and feeling. I've shared many similar experiences with you, of your marriage (although we parted our separate ways two years ago) and with church interactions.
Know that what you said also has many positive ramifications as well - in times of loneliness or frustration, I sometimes turn to your blog to know that I am not alone.
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