Highs and Lows

It has been an interesting week, and it is only Tuesday.

Beginning with Scott's testimony on Sunday and then the candlelight vigil, Sunday was a beautiful day for me. I was anxious for obvious reasons, but happy and relieved. It felt so right to be out to our ward, and then it felt so right to be gathered with Mormons and non-Mormons, gays and straights, at the SLC library. We brought our huge rainbow umbrella, which came in handy on our walk around the block. Our daughter really wanted to come with, so even though I was nervous to leave our 11 year old boy tending the other 2 at home, we took her with us and had a wonderful experience!

I was uplifted and faced Monday morning with renewed strength.

But in the background of my mind was our cat. He has not been well for 7 months or more. We noticed that he was not eating well and that he had lost weight. We left for the weekend (this was in the spring) and came back 48 hours later to discover that he had not eaten anything.

I took him to the vet the next day. They did a blood test and x-ray; they hydrated him, etc. The next day they checked his kidneys and liver again with another blood test. He seemed improved. The next step would have been an expensive ultra-sound. We had already put some $280 into tests, so decided not to spend more. We took him home, experimented with different brands of food till we found one he liked, bought a water dish with a fountain. He was eating well again and we thought he would soon begin to put on some of the weight he lost.

But he stayed skin and bones.

After Scott's sister saw him and expressed concern, we had him back to the vet about 2 1/2 weeks ago. He had lost more than 2 pounds in 6 months. We spent more money on another blood test and then an experimental treatment of antibiotics and steroids. He seemed to improve at first, but then he began to throw up, and then he stopped eating completely (4 or 5 days ago). It became impossible to give him his meds, and he hid so we could not find him to force them on him.

Monday morning Scott suggested what I had been thinking, but hearing Scott say the words was too much. We discussed it as a family last night, and then today Scott called the vet to get his opinion.

The kids came home from school, we took pictures, we petted and kissed our dear friend of 7 years. He has been with us since he was 6 weeks old. We took him to the vet, told him goodbye, and sent him to peace and comfort.

There are six of us living here, but the house is empty. The kids are screaming, but the house is quiet. My dear furry friend is gone. And although getting another cat might fill the void, we were crazy to have one in the first place due to my allergies, and one or two of the children appear to be allergic as well.

I sit here crying, thinking of my loss, and worrying about the results of the election in California. I leave it in God's hands and his higher purpose, and I pray for peace as I mourn tonight.

Caramel is now with his friend (the kitten in the photo, taken 5 years ago), Scott's sister's cat, who got hit by a car last year. And soon, my own pain will begin to fade.