For those of you who have been following my blog and are concerned, I have been feeling better the last couple of days. I still wake up with butterflies in my stomach, but once I start teaching my first class, they seem to dissipate and stay away until I read an article in the newspaper or someone's blog that reminds me just how infuriating and confusing the church's involvement in Prop. 8 is right now. Then the nerves and stomach-ache come back until I am distracted by something else in my ever-busy life.
Today I am most grateful for my 3 year old. I was determined to get the potty training thing done this summer. (So far, up to age 12, potty training is the worst thing about being a parent.) I became very discouraged immediately with the process upon discovering that the child threw a tantrum when he was merely asked to sit on a small potty chair. Not even the promise of candy would change his fear. Just the occasional suggestion for him to give it a try sent him into hysteria. So, when the gay thing hit, I decided it was not even worth the effort and worry of trying anymore. I decided maybe we could give it another go over Christmas.
But then, tonight when I was changing him for bed, he said "I don't want to wear a diaper any more." "Okay, do you want to go potty then?" "YES!' He marched to the bathroom and sat proudly on the chair and then wanted to wear a pull-up. The rest of us in the house got over our momentary shock and then turned to elation and praise. My 11 year old sang to him "I'm a big boy now." So he started singing it too, over and over. I sang it right after he did one time, and then he said, "No, you're not a big boy, you're a mom." We all laughed. I haven't been so relaxed and happy for days.
So I have to be grateful for the little things.
I'm not sure I want to go to church this week, or this month. I am afraid again of what I might hear, especially with all the hype this week. I pray for all of you who are struggling with this as I am. I worry about members in CA that are against prop 8 as well and yet are constantly bombarded with it at church. I worry for those who it affects directly, like Scot and Rob. I hope and pray that we will all make it through this in one piece, and then be able to handle whatever more of it comes in the future.
I am trying to face life with hope the best I can. Scott has been a bit down about all of this today, so it is good that I have been feeling better. With the love of God in our hearts, I think we will survive. At least I hope so.
4 weeks ago