Sunday, October 19, 2008

Truth and Peace

As I walked in my room this evening to get ready for bed, I was pondering on an email I received from someone indicating how my (and Scot'ts) thoughts and feelings have helped them to have a desire to grow closer to the church rather than away from it as they have been.

Suddenly, a phrase from my patriarchal blessing came to my mind and hit me with such clarity that I knew it was from my Heavenly Father…

“You are blessed with the talent to believe and to accept truth.”

I remember when I first received my blessing and I noticed this sentence, it was interesting to me. As a teenager, my testimony came easily for me. While my friends and even my family struggled with certain aspects in the church, I had an inner understanding of the gospel and accepted it without question.

This is the first time in my life that I have struggled with something that pertains to the gospel. As I have discussed it with my sister or my close friend at school, and have compared it to the blacks receiving the priesthood, their response has been, “But this is different. Marriage is part of the plan of salvation and a central part of the gospel. It cannot change.”

But my inner feelings have not agreed with them.

And now I feel like my Heavenly Father is telling me that he gave me a talent to accept truth, and that what I am feeling is truth, and he wants me to just accept and believe it, which is hard, considering that the leaders of the church say otherwise.

But my heart is filled with more peace right now than I have felt all day, and perhaps all weekend. I am so grateful to have a glimpse into God’s higher purpose for me right now.

And with that, I am off to grade some math tests that I have not been able to concentrate on grading.

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