I'm sure most of you have seen this already, but it is pretty sweet, so I had to share.
Here is an account from Carol Lynn Pearson of a recent event with Elder Jensen of the Seventy in the Oakland, CA Stake.
6 days ago
"We must the onward path pursue"I don't know if he really understood what I was saying, but he is a smart kid, and I think he does whether he admits it or not.
We have to keep going forward, doing what is right, no matter what.
"As wider fields expand to view,"
Especially now that our view of the world is wider, with our gay friends, and us wanting them to be happy and be able to get married.
"And follow him unceasingly,"
We have to just keep following Christ, no matter what.
"Whate'er our lot or sphere may be."
No matter what comes into our lives, whatever we have to deal with, whatever makes our individual world or "sphere", we must still follow Christ and try to be like him.
Do you see how much this applies to our lives right now? If you sing this with feeling tomorrow, like you really understand it and believe it, I will be bawling my eyes out, and that is a good thing.
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
Hi, do you know who I am? I'm a non-gay, happily married with kids, active LDS friend of Scott's, who happens to have grown up with same sex attractions (SSA).
Scott once encouraged me to tell my wife about being SSA, kindly offering to have you talk with my wife if she was having trouble dealing with it. When I did eventually tell her, she was fine and didn't really want or need to have someone to talk to, but I've sort of wondered what you might have said.
Now I see that your relationship/marriage with him is hitting some serious turbulence. I don't know the nature of that turbulence and don't really care to. That's personal. But if you wouldn't mind, what would you have said? And would that message change now that things are more difficult?
Thanks in advance and tell Scott hi for me. We haven't spoken much since I expressed my dismay that he was not as active in the church as he was when we first met, but I still follow him on FB and am interested in how things are going.
Don't really know who you are, I have no idea what I would have said. Depends on if it was before or after January.
Thanks for responding and satisfying my curiosity. I take it then, the answer to my second question is yes and the answer to my first question is that you would have been more encouraging toward making the relationship work out before January than you would now.
That being the case, and supposing I really want my marriage to succeed, would you have any advice for me now?
You know, I'm not sure my sure my advice to her would have changed, because I don't think I would have changed anything in what I did even if I could go back. It would have been communication and patience and to love you no matter what choices you make. Vent her problems if needed with other wives, not to people who will be judgmental of your choices.
To you, I'm not sure. Make her your first priority, but be sure to take care of yourself. If you hide and suppress inside who you really are, it just might explode later, or it will wear away at you gradually, making you more and more miserable, which is not good for your marriage either. So talk about everything with her, even if it hurts her sometimes. Come up with healthy solutions together. And always, always, always treat her like a queen. Little, thoughtful things mean the most: flowers, dates, holding her hand, taking the initiative to snuggle with her at night or during a movie.
This is probably stuff you already know...
Maybe I know it, but it is stuff I need to be constantly reminded of. It is the new and everlasting covenant. That's why I need to treat her as a queen. It is part of being faithful to my covenant.
As for the little thoughtful things, those are the hardest to remember, but I suppose that problem is not unique to someone in my situation. All men struggle with that.
Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate it.