Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What if?

Last night I turned the news on (which is unusual for me, because the news usually just makes me depressed), but there were some teasers for the local news during American Idol, so I did. Anyway, a teaser came on about how Miss CA lost the “Queen” title in the Miss USA Pagent because of how she answered a question regarding gay marriage.

I turned to Scott and asked him about it (knowing he would know about anything gay related in the news) and he sighed in frustration and shared details of the story, his main frustration being that people like Perez Hilton are the reason that gays and gay advocates and allies have such a bad image. It confirms the prevailing attitude that those who are against gay marriage are “persecuted” for standing up for what they think is right.

While I disagree with Miss CA, I was impressed about how she handled the situation with the press. Rather than being angry, she felt blessed to have the opportunity to express her view on national TV.

That started me thinking and wondering: what if I were blessed to answer that question and give my heartfelt opinion on national TV? What would I say?

I guess this is not much different than interviewing for Reed Cowan’s documentary: “8: The Mormon Proposition.” I guess I was still able to voice my opinion for a national audience. The difference, though, is that only a certain subset of people in the nation will watch the documentary, while the audience for Miss USA is a different audience on a larger scale, and therefore has a much larger impact, kind of like Dustin Lance Black’s awesome speech at the Academy Awards.

Anyway, back to what I would say…

I am in favor of gay marriage. With that said, let me explain that I am happily married to a gay man, and that we have chosen to continue living in a marriage that is defined as “one man and one woman” and I am fine with that. But allowing gays to marry each other does not diminish the value of MY marriage.

We have good friends, two men that were married in California last summer and have two adorable little boys. They are an amazing family and we enjoy associating with them and are honored to call them friends (and yes, our children are aware that their family is a bit different than ours, but is still a family, and they are fine with that). Yet, in order for this couple to have the same rights that we take for granted here in Utah (things like inheritance for their children, etc.), they had to go through the time and expense of hiring a lawyer. Some opponents of gay marriage in CA argue that they have civil unions with the same rights, but they are not the same, and they are more like the concept of “separate but equal.”

In my opinion, the best compromise for this conflict in our nation would be to remove any government relationship with the word “marriage”. Perhaps it would be best for everyone to have a “civil union” first, and then, if desired, “marry” in the church of their choice, leaving marriage as a purely religious term that each denomination can define according to their own beliefs.

Finally, in response to those who argue against gay marriage as a moral issue, I would like to express my opinion that legalizing gay marriage would most likely lead to less promiscuity and less adultery, and therefore would be a BETTER moral choice in the long run.

Just my 2 cents. Maybe too long for a Miss USA interview question, but hey, that is never gonna happen anyway, so oh well.