Friday, April 24, 2009

Obviously Gay Traits

Ever since Scott came out to me last summer, we began watching a variety of movies having to do with "gay" issues. I intend to write a blog post to review many of the movies we have watched...but not today.

Anyway, one of the movies we watched was "The Broken Heart's Club". One of the characters says something about OGTs, and when someone questions him about it, he explains that he means "obviously gay traits".

Scott and I met D. in November at our first MoHo party. Then a couple of weeks later we invited him to join us for Family Night to see the lights at Temple Square. Then he began hanging around at our house more and more, and the more he did, the more he learned about Scott. It seemed that every time he came, something about Scott would come up, and he would gasp and say, "...and you didn't know you were gay?" or "You really had no idea that he is gay? This makes it so obvious!"

One day D. decided that this had happened so many times that he needed to start making a list. I found an old notebook in our filing cabinet from my own school days (one that is filled with bright pink lined paper) and he began making a list of everything that he could remember. It is now referred to as the "pink notebook". When he is over and something comes up, he will gasp and say, "I need my pink notebook!"

Anyway, here is our list so far:

  • Scott enjoys dipping chocolates to give to the neighbors at Christmas. He tried learning how from the internet first, then after a couple of years of his chocolates not meeting up to his expectations, he took a class at Gygi's (and was the only guy there, he says.)
  • A few years ago he began making me a new piece of jewelry for our anniversary (and other events) every year. Nothing says "I love you" like a home-made gift. And high quality, too! I am always proud when someone compliments one of them and I respond, "Thanks, my husband made it for me!"
    • Also a few years ago, Scott and his sister convinced me that I should start coloring my graying hair. I have never been to a salon to have it done, because Scott colors it for me every time.
    • Scott subscribes to Men's Vogue, GQ, and other magazines full of well dressed (or partially dressed) men.
    • When Scott was in college, he intended to go into graphic design, so he started as an art major. For one of his clay art projects, he created a well-built male bust. (This was only a year or two into our marriage.)
    • Also a year or two into our marriage, he decided to have his step-mom perm his hair. Unfortunately, his hair didn't take to it very well, and before long it was no longer curly, so he hasn't tried it since. However, he has had his sister (and me sometimes) put blond highlights in his hair, and one time he bleached it entirely, turning it a yellowish-orange color. He went to church once with it that color, and got lots of interesting reactions. (I personally was very embarrassed to be with him, sadly.) At work, his boss said, "You know, in San Francisco, that would mean something." He came home from work and told me and we laughed about it. Later in the week I helped him dye it back to brown.
    • One year his step mom asked him to make a cake for a niece and nephew's birthdays. He created an awesome "Finding Nemo" cake with rolled fondant icing. He also made a beautiful heart-shaped cake for me for Valentine's Day, that same year, I think.
    • Scott crocheted an afghan on his mission on P-days while his mission companions played basketball and such. 8 or 9 years ago, he was the varsity scout coach in our ward and decided to teach the boys to crochet so that they could make something for their moms for Mother's day.

    So, yeah, why do you think we have both been so oblivious for so long?

    Feel free to comment and add to the list, if you know Scott well at all and have observed any OGTs. :)

    By the way, so as not to offend anyone, this post is all in good fun, and I am sorry if any of you feel like I am unfairly "stereotyping" Scott or anyone else.


    D. said...

    Yay! You finally blogged about it! Scott has dyed my hair also, which reminds me; I need to have it done again because the highlights are starting to show! Thanks Sarah for making my night!

    I love you guys and my pink notebook!

    P.S. Thanks for not telling my favorite part of the notebook which I was reminded of last night! ;)

    Alan said...

    LOL about the pink notebook, that's great! For the record, and this just goes to show that the "stereotypes" do NOT always hold up, I don't match a single one of the things you listed, Sarah. I play rough sports. I would rather shovel out a barn than crochet. I avoid craftsy stuff like the plague. I'm largely indifferent to musical theater. I have never done anything weird to my hair. The only decent thing I can make with my hands is music. IF I bake a cake at all it is the shape of the pan, too bad kids, deal. I love baseball and think Brittney and Beyonce are beyond boring.

    And guess what. Scott and I do have one crucial thing in common . . . . !

    Ned said...

    You just made me wonder about my own list of OGTs. Let's see:
    1. Liked playing with dolls as a kid.
    2. And sewing machines.
    3. And purses.
    4. Was known in kindergarten as a tattle tale.
    5. Didn't learn to play basketball and softball until adulthood. Oh and I can pass a football now.
    6. Tends to throw like a girl
    7. Still don't get football.
    8. Likes musicals.
    9. Likes opera.
    10. Likes ballet.
    11. Likes classical music.
    12. Counterclock wise hair whorl
    13. Feminine finger ratio.
    14. Some sweaty guys smell good to me.
    15. I swim for exercise and to test my underwater vision.
    16. I like spring and summer because guys take off their shirts.
    17. I like hanging out with guys of all ages.

    AmbiguouS One said...

    Can I tell you how much I love this post?! Haha! I love that Scott crocheted while the other missionaries played ball. Oh, that is awesome! Represent!

    D. said...

    Oh Alan.. I am hurt to the core! Beyonce is my hero! Go see Obsessed and I think you will see how truly amazing she is! LOL

    Alan said...

    @D - LOL. Don't take it personally. It's not just her. It's all "pop divas" so addicted to impromptu trills and riffs that they lose track of the melody. Yawn. All flash no substance. For that genre, I'll take something like Il Divo in a heartbeat over any prima donna "legend" du jour. But I still love you D. Can't wait to see you on stage this summer.

    Beck said...

    We all have our own list of OGTs, and there are similarities and differences between our respective lists. Alan points this out well.

    But, for some of us, the "obvious" signs look so obvious from hindsight, but when we were living those moments, we were completely oblivious - they weren't obvious at all. And for some of us, the obvious nature of these traits didn't become so obvious until decades later, as hard as that may seem to some.

    Sarah said...

    Okay, more photos have been added. Enjoy! Now I really have to get off my computer and go clean the house!

    Anonymous said...

    Here are a few more to add to the list of how did I not know:

    The first movie character I identified with was girly boy in the movie "Tea and Sympathy" when I was eight years old.

    When I was in kindergarten, I drew pictures of girls and women but didn't know how to draw men or boys.

    I can't catch

    Even when I aim carefully I can't hit anything (why is that?)

    I have beautiful penmanship (i.e., I write like a girl)

    In seventh grade sex ed I was taught that it's normal for some boys to develop crushes on adult males but don't worry it's just a phase. I'm still waiting to outgrow it.

    Women think I have a sexy voice, guys think I sound gay (don't lisp but have that voice - you know what I mean)

    I can't name a single athlete or what teams played in the world series or even what time of year the world series is played but I can tell you who won for best supporting actress at this year's Oscars.

    I don't know nothing about anything mechanical except how to put air in the tires and water in the battery - oh, I can jump start a car.

    I love foreign films

    When I was a child I was bookish

    I love aerobics

    I cry while watching sad films.


    Frank Lee Scarlet said...

    Love this post--I can identify with so many of these!

    -On my dad's side, football is a family way of life...except for me. Like Ned, I can't play or understand football, despite multiple attempts at explanation.

    -As kids one time, my cousins and I were talking about our favorite movies. They laughed when we got to mine--The Swan Princess.

    -People always comment about my "beautiful handwriting".

    -I took the ASVAB test that measures vocational interest and knowlege, and scored in the 90s for math, science, language--everything except mechanics (where I got a 26!)

    -I love singing, opera, and musicals.

    -I too get emotional during sad movies.

    -I loved sewing my own costumes as a kid, until my mother asked if I wasn't "a little too old for dress-up now?" (and that was traumatic!)

    -Throughout my life, I have loved classical music and books.

    -I once helped cut my very Southern grandfather's hair, prompting him to remark, "I'm worried about how good you are at this--there are only steers and queers in Idaho, and you ain't got horns!"

    -When the cross-country season was over, those of us who didn't qualify for state (which included me) were invited to continue after-school practices with those who did. I said to my friend, "Are you kidding? I have sacrificed watching Oprah for the last three months!"

    Kengo Biddles said...

    Yeah--I need a pink notebook. Most of my traits can be attributed to Frasier-ness and being the only boy and oldest in my family, thankfully.

    Sarah said...

    D., I recently remembered one that we forgot to write in the book. For a Christmas dance our Senior year of high school, our "group" met at Scott's house for dinner, where he had prepared cornish game hens and we built & decorated ginger bread houses.