Random Thoughts for the New Year!

Happy New Year!

It has been a good week, although it went by WAY too fast.

Monday started lazy until one of our children bashed his head into the corner of a video cabinet. He is fine but ended up with staples in his head to hold the skin back in place. I was so glad it was this particular child, because he played on his gameboy the whole time and couldn't care less that the doctor was sticking needles in his head. My two older children would have been screaming at the very idea!

Tuesday...I don't remember. I think I was pretty lazy. We had some nieces/nephew stay overnight, and we got a bit of cleaning done for our moho party. My emotions were getting the best of me for several stupid reasons (part of it was recovering from Sunday's events) and by the end of the day I had a severe emotional breakdown.

It is amazing what a bit of sleep will do, and by Wednesday I ready for a long, busy day that was oh, so worthwhile! We cleaned and shopped and cooked (okay, the kids and I cleaned, Scott shopped and cooked. :) Then our new friends and soon-to-be new friends started to arrive and I was in heaven. One man I probably knew 15 years ago in college. (We found out at the very least that we had some friends in common.) Others arrived very nervous, but then settled in. As one of them left early for a family party and I saw him out, I was so touched by his sincere gratitude at being with us for a little while, and also for his struggles right now. God bless him!

By 2 a.m. when we were still playing games and having a wonderful time (Ezra talks about some of the best moments in his blog, and Andrew claims to have enjoyed it, too), everyone seemed so comfortable. They didn't have to hide who they really are, even in front of our children. And our kids got the chance to make new friends with two other children that came. We even took them sledding with us the next day for the first time (they were from CA and new to the fun stuff called snow).

I wasn't sure how comfortable I would be as the only straight- female-wife present. But I was comfortable and so, so happy. That is what I can only imagine that heaven will truly be like!

Thursday was somewhat lazy. Scott cooked an awesome breakfast, some of us got VERY cold sledding (I know, the cold is nothing compared to Canada right now. :). Then the last of our guests were on their way and we were ready for a bit of cleaning, but mostly some relaxing. Unfortunately, when we most wanted to take naps and watch a movie, we had scheduled a time that our Elders' Quorum President could come visit with us. The rumors of my testimony in RS from Sunday had traveled fast, and he felt like he should make sure we were okay and see if there was anything he could do to help. He is a great man, a convert and empty-nester, and he served for a short time as one of Scott's counselors in EQ. He and his wife have both been super supportive of our family since Scott bore his testimony.

When he arrived, he first clarified that he got the message right from his wife and whomever else, that we were somewhat struggling with staying active in the church. He let us know that he had attended the temple on Tuesday so that he could be fully prepared to meet with us. It was a bit awkward at first as he "buttered" us up with comments about how he looked up to Scott as the EQ president when they moved in, and how much he adored our family. He then started to ask us clarifying questions and it felt for a brief moment like we were back in the bishop's office, being interrogated. But then I remembered who we had there with us, our old friend, and not the bishop, and finally I just started to talk and let him know exactly how we were feeling, that our marriage and relationship is great, that we had researched and prayed about prop 8 and still felt like Heavenly Father was telling us it was okay to disagree with it, that we felt like others in the church (not just our ward) feel like we cannot possibly have that opinion if we truly have testimonies of the gospel. I told him how there is one sister in the ward (without telling him who) that I am having a particular hard time with. We told him about our "calling" from God, about our awesome New Years Eve party, and about all the good we are doing and all the new friends we have made.

He let me know that as I was talking about my struggles with the sister in the ward, that his impression several times was to tell me to pray for her. For her to back off in her comments, for her to be more fully aware of my feelings and needs to be loved and accepted by her without judgement. He also suggested that if it came down to it, it might be best for me to just talk to her about how I feel directly; be blunt, as I think he put it. Anyway, some new ideas to mull over.

He let us know, with some humming and hawing, that he agrees with Prop 8, but he also kept clarifying that his experiences are different than ours, of course, and could influence his opinion differently. He was not judgmental or preachy, but he did implore us that no matter what we should stay close to Heavenly Father and stay active in the church, like as if those two statements mean the same thing. We promised him that we would always stay close to God and follow his promptings, but that we did not know what the future might bring with our activity in the church, and that we would do the best we could to stay active for as long as we feel like that is the right thing for us to do. Scott admitted that were it not for a wife and kids, he was certain that he himself would have stopped going to church weeks ago.

Anyway, interesting encounter to say the least.

Friday, I took the kids to see The Tale of Despereaux. Great movie, very quotable, great message about being different and being yourself and being happy. I want to see it again, and then maybe I will dedicate a post to reviewing it.

That day in the mail we received a note from another sister in the ward, expressing her concern, prayers, love and hope for our family. She shared some personal information with us regarding someone they know that has adopted out a baby that now has two daddies. What a nice gesture to share that with us. Now I feel like I want to share Scot's blog (Cog) with her. Maybe I will.

The last few years I really haven't tried to set any new years goals because I never seem to accomplish them anyway. But if I were to set some goals, they might include the following: (I may add to this list as I think of more.)

1. Don't take things so personally! Try to be happy no matter what other people say.
   
2. Get to bed earlier
3. Spend less time on the computer
4. Swear less, especially some of the more vulgar words that I've begun using more and more
   
5. Strengthen my relationship with God through more diligent prayer and scripture study (Maybe I could even start with just one verse of scripture and some sincere pondering and prayer about it every day)
   
6. Spend more quality time with my children
7. Stop procrastinating (grading, laundry, whatever!)
8. Clean the basement
9. Help get the yard finished
10. Help get the basement finished
11. Spend less money so that we can better afford the last 2 things
12. Catch up the kids' scrapbooks, which are like 2-3 years behind
13. Edit home video and put it on DVD so we can actually enjoy it!
    
14. Take better care of myself!(Emotionally, physically, etc.)
15. Maybe attempt to lose some weight. 20 pounds would be nice, but I would be happy with 5!
    

Of course this list will have to start tomorrow, since I have already failed at many of them for today. (Note the time on this post when I started, and I didn't finish until after midnight!)