Sunday, June 6, 2010

Bring it on!

It has been a good week, and I feel like I need to blog to let people know that I am not always sad and depressed and miserable.

Scott has been great this week--I don't know if my last blog post helped him better understand my pain and he has been making a greater effort, but he has been very considerate and sensitive to me this week, and I want him to know how much I appreciate it!

Our 12-year-old is healing quickly from his appendectomy surgery, and the other kids haven't even complained too much about helping with his chores.

I went to Antelope Island for the first time in my life this past Monday. A good friend took some photos of me (and the family) on the beach. I figure this is for sure my last time being pregnant, and maybe it would be fun to have some pictures. I've always avoided cameras during pregnancy in the past, but for some reason I was thinking of that photo in the movie "The Family Stone" and decided maybe it would be a fun thing to have.

School is officially over (other than I have a bit of cleaning up and organizing still to do in my classroom).

The Pride festival today was hot, but fun, and it was exciting to see the students in the GSA club at my school, along with the club from a neighboring school (and my own children) march in the parade with Equality Utah.  By the time we were done wandering the festival, however, my daughter and I were almost wishing it was rainy and cold like last year. :) Scott and I splurged on rainbow tie-dye shirts for the kids that match the ones he and I bought last year, so our family was just adorable everywhere we went today! (We even got a onesie for the upcoming kid to wear next year. :) Scott and I traded shirts, since I have gained a lot of size out front, and he has lost a bit this past year and is wearing a shirt size smaller.

Scott and I attended a boy scout court of honor this evening that our son was involved in, and during the chit chat and refreshments afterwords, we were visiting with neighbors and friends that are in our ward.  Somehow we got on the topic of my heartburn, and drinking soda, and one of the friends mentioned that he didn't start really drinking soda until his divorce from his first wife. Without even really thinking, I turned to Scott and said, "Oh, is that why I've started drinking coke." Then I was kind of embarrassed at the message I had just passed along to these friends (and we all kind of chuckled), not that Scott and I are planning on divorce any time soon, but I wonder what kind of rumors I might have just started. :) Oh well.  I know there are ward members that read my blog, so chances are they really already know what is going on. :)


With the end of school brings a new phase to my life, so bring it on!

The heat of summer seems to finally be here, and I have REALLY enjoyed the cool weather, but now I can just keep the AC in my house on and pretty much ignore the heat outside.

I typically go over my due-date with my babies, so I am planning for that, but if this one happens to come a bit early, I will not complain a bit. About 4 weeks to go.

I mentioned that I still need to clean my classroom, and there is lots of organizing to be done here at home, too.  Last summer I was way lazy, but it is time to jump in and do some clean-up on projects that have been ignored since Scott came out 2 summers ago.

Who knows what else might be on its way into my life. For now, we continue to take it one day at a time. Scott has been the one since January to insist that we mull over options for our future, but now that we have mulled them over (and not come to any specific conclusions), he seems to also be okay with taking things one day at a time and crossing bridges when we get to them.

For the most part I am happy and well. I appreciate all of my friends. I appreciate that my eyes and heart have been opened to the gay part of the world. I appreciate my blog readers, the prayers, the emails, the realization that we have this amazing thing called the internet to find each other across the world and offer support to each other and know that we are not alone in what we face.  To all of you readers out there that have/are/or will face what I am (or worse!), my heart is full and I wish you the best and pray for you.  I wish for you to have the support of family and friends, to stay friends with your gay spouse, to feel the arms of your Heavenly Father around you, carrying you through, regardless of whether or not you stay active in the church.

So bring it on. With God's help we can make the best out of what life gives us.

Happy Pride day, happy Sabbath, and God bless!


gail said...


Thank you for sharing. This why I should not read your blog at work. I am crying in my cubical.

Sarah said...

Sorry, Gail. I hope the tears are good ones.

Thank you especially for all of your support. I hope things improve in your relationships with family and with the church. It amazes me how much you love your x-wife and all of the support that you give her.

Now stop crying and get to work! :)

gail said...


Thanks Sarah. I am so happy that you are doing well.

It is not so much that things are bad with my friends and family, just different. I don’t feel that they get me like I once thought they did. It is me that is making the decisions that do not make since to them. I just need to figure where I really want to stand with them and accept that. I want them to see what I am doing to be a result of me doing what is right to the best of my ability, instead of loving me in spite being stupid or deceived by the Devil or something. I guess I want my cake and to eat it too.