Building Bridges

Wow. I know it has been forever. So, so busy with job and five kids. And I guess I kind of abandoned the blog after one of the comments called me whiny. And I now have other "secret" forums where I am more likely to vent the whiny stuff.

But I have to share a quick experience.

I've been attempting this month to go back to church on my terms. I've managed to make it at minimum to Relief Society and at most the entire three hours for the past four weeks. When there is a lesson I'm not really into, I distract myself with my phone, or grading papers, or last week, crocheting flowers. :) Or if the teacher is one that I know in particular is difficult for me to listen to, then I will just find someone in the hall or library to talk to and sluff that portion. I really think I am probably going back more for the community and the friends and less for the gospel messages, but I get a bit of spiritual nourishment in the process.

Over the last year to 18 months I have probably averaged attending at least one meeting or class at church about once a month. And the times that I have been most reluctant to go back have been when I've felt inclined to make a comment that lead to awkwardness and sometimes a feeling of conflict within the room. So over the past month, I have pretty much kept my mouth shut.

This past Sunday the lesson in Relief Society was from the 2012 October General Conference: "I know it. I live it. I love it," by Ann M. Dibb. The teacher was a substitute and a sister in the ward that I don't really know. She indicated that she liked her lessons to be more of a discussion, so she asked questions and expected participation. One of the main topics she threw out to us toward the beginning of the lesson was whether or not any of us had been in a circumstance where we had a difficult time admitting that we are Mormon. As I pondered the question I thought, well yeah, now I think I sometimes don't want to admit it. But it's not really admitting it as much as it is that I am in a different place with Mormonism--less active and not believing everything any more. So sometimes I will say that I am sort of Mormon, or I'm honest and say I am Mormon but that I don't go to church very often. I never would have hesitated admitting my religious affiliation at all before my crisis of faith.

Anyway, I was sorta thinking through all this when a thought went through my mind and I decided that maybe I should share it. I hesitated at first, but that was okay because there were lots of other ladies participating and sharing their stories. Finally I raised my hand bravely and shared something like this:

"Many of you know that I have gay friends that I would stand up for. I am the adviser of a gay-straight alliance at the high school where I teach. Inevitably the topic of Mormons comes up once in a while with these students, and the Mormon-bashing begins. When that happens, I stand up for Mormonism by telling them that I am a Mormon and that I don't judge them and they know that I love them."

For once I said something that did not seem to make everyone awkward. In fact, the teacher began sharing a story about a gay man at her work that was hesitant to get to know her at first, that he might have expected that based on her age and religion that she would be judgmental of him. But soon he learned that she wasn't at all what he expected and they became good friends.

Another lady (that I also didn't know) shared another story about a gay friend of hers. I was amazed! I had used the "g" word in the room, and it did not catch on fire. The spirit didn't leave, and no one appeared to get tense and uncomfortable. I've always felt like I wanted to get people in my ward talking about the gay issue. Not about what is right and what is wrong and what is sin and what is happening to the morals of this world we live in. But about people. About love. About acceptance. About children of God.

This positive experience makes me want to continue to go back and to watch for opportunities to build bridges.

Four Years Ago

Note: I wrote this November 4th, but didn't post it until January 30. So if it just barely showed up in your news feed and you weren't sure why it took three months to get there, don't worry--my fault. :)

I woke up this morning and began to think about my day. I have to finish making a costume for my daughter for the school musical and I have a tiny bit of grading left to do to finish the first term grades for one of my classes. I am also participating in the last part of the "Circling the Wagons" conference this weekend by saying a prayer at the interfaith service this afternoon.

But there is barely time before the service that I could attend my own Sacrament meeting at 11, which I have not done since the end of September when I attended the Primary program. I was not planning to go to my meeting at all, but as I thought about it, I remembered that this is an anniversary of sorts.

It has been four years today since Scott stood up in Fast and Testimony meeting and came out to our ward. If any of you read the story back then and still remember any of it, you would recall that both Scott and I, separate of each other, woke up nervous with the distinct thought and feeling that he should come out in Sacrament meeting that day. Finally, I couldn't handle the thought screaming in my head any longer, so I shared it out loud with Scott. He had a shocked look on his face as he shared with me that he had been feeling and thinking the same thing.

Up to this point, I knew he had toyed with the idea of doing that very thing, and I had expressed that while I valued the reasons he had for coming out to our ward, I thought we should work toward getting permission to do it during a 5th Sunday meeting with the adults. The fact that this day I woke up feeling that it should be in Sacrament meeting was not my own thoughts and opinions, but I'm certain rather that it was the inspiration of a higher power.

So Scott wrote up what he would say, because he knew he would be extremely nervous. He went to the church and told the bishop what he intended to do, to which the bishop responded that he wasn't going to stop him but he preferred that he didn't. And then together we asked our two oldest children (11 and 12 at the time) for permission, and they were on board, excited not to have to keep this family secret any more.

While I still believe that decision was inspired, I had no idea that it would lead me to where I am now.

So I remembered today that event four years ago, and I started feeling like maybe I should go and share my testimony today, my testimony of how that event was inspired, a few details of where Scott's testimony is now (which is pretty much non-existent, as far as I can tell. I'm not sure he even believes there is a God any more), and where my testimony is now, which is a testimony of a few basic principles of the gospel, including Christ and loving one another. I had a script going through my head when I sat down at my computer and now I can't remember it...

"Four years ago, Scott shared in fast and testimony meeting that he had come to terms with being attracted to men, but that he knew God loved him the way he is. He and I both woke up that day feeling like he should do this, and I still believe that decision, which we made as a family including our two oldest children--was inspired. We didn't know what the consequences of that decision would be, and we knew they could be horrible, but neither of us could deny the spirit that told us to move forward.

I am so grateful for the outpouring of love that has come from so many of you as our family structure and testimonies have changed in the last four years. I have made some amazing friends in this ward that I'm certain came as a result of this pivotal event.

This week I was going through some old newspapers, and I read one of Robert Kirby's columns. In it he said "Jesus Christ gave us the gospel, but Satan gave us religion." While I'm certain he meant the sentence to be humorous, it hit very close to home for me. I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and his gospel. I have a testimony of loving others without judgement, realizing that Christ is the judge and He is able to make that judgement based on all aspects of our lives. I no longer have a testimony of a certain church being true. I believe that any religion that helps a particular person live a good life, serve others, and grow closer to God has done what it needed to do for that person. I know that the LDS church has done much good for me through many years of my life. Now I'm not sure if this religion or another one is best for me and my family in this journey. Someday I will figure it out. For now, though, I am grateful."

I did not end up going to church and sharing this testimony, by the way. But thinking through it and writing it here was helpful for me.

I spoke with a friend yesterday at the conference who came to our first Moho party four years ago. He had fond memories of what that connection did for him. He continues to be married to a woman and active in the church, and now serves as president of the NorthStar organization. And yet a year later when we tried to renew our temple recommends, Scott was told that our parties were "associating with those whose teachings and practices are contrary to the church." I feel like we are martyrs of sorts. Or at least Scott's testimony is a martyr. And I feel like Emma Smith, unable to fight the fight any longer because of what I've been through. I went to a fireside where the author of the book Emma spoke and shared that she believed that Emma had fulfilled her calling as wife to the prophet, her calling in this life. And when Joseph was brought home to rest, she was also given the opportunity to rest. I know of many who were critical of her decision to not come to Utah and remain an active member of the church, but I completely understand why she had to do just that. That is where I am. And though it pains me to know of the generations of posterity that could be affected by my decision, I can only hope and pray that it will be for the best, and that my children and grandchildren will learn to love as Jesus loved, regardless of which or any religion they belong to.

Premiere "It Gets Better" with Straight Spouses

Some summers as school approaches, I can't think of anything significant that I have done with my life in the 2-3 months I've been off work. But this summer will be different. This summer I can say that I have helped to create some videos to build bridges, to promote understanding and hope.

 Here is the masterpiece, and today is the day it premieres at the Mormon Stories LGBTQ "'Circling the Wagons Conference" in San Francisco. And now, following its premiere, I want it to go viral like the Josh Weed story. I want there to be a balance in the world on this topic. I want hopeful LDS friends and family that have been encouraging their gay loved ones that they can follow the gospel plan, marry someone of the opposite sex and raise a family to see this video, to feel the pain of the straight spouse and children, to understand the consequences that frequently come from well-intentioned individuals following the gospel plan that simply does not work for them.

I want to give hope to those out there still in their closets to have hope that they are not alone in their pain, and that life can and will get better.

Please help me by sharing this video today. The more people we reach, the bigger difference it will make. 

Thanks. There are individual video stories from the people involved on our YouTube channel, supportivestraights. The videos are also linked from the website at straightspouses.org. The video has also been uploaded to the Mormon Stories "It Gets Better" YouTube Channel, where you can find videos from many other gay Mormons and allies.

 

Pioneers

With the coming and going of another pioneer day celebration here in Utah, and with fleeting thoughts of our stakes' pioneer trek this week up at independence rock, martin's cove and rocky ridge (which my teenagers adamantly decided not to attend), pioneers have been sort of on my mind.

I have much Mormon pioneer ancestry but my favorite modern pioneer is Carol Lynn Pearson.

I've been listening to bits of her Mormon Stories podcast with John Dehlin. The last podcast ends with her answering the question of how she has been able to stay active in the church.

Memorable phrases and ideas from this amazing woman:

Where love is, there God is also. Love, and therefore God, can be found in pretty much any church.

God is bigger than any church, including the Mormon church.

It is essential to be out of all closets with regards to feminism and gay rights, etc.

Then she ends the podcast with her poem titled "pioneers". It gives me much to think about, to ponder:

“Pioneers,”
by CAROL LYNN PEARSON

My people were Mormon pioneers.
Is the blood still good?
They stood by in awe as truth
Flew by like a dove
And dropped a feather in the West.
Where truth flies you follow
If you are a pioneer.

I have searched the skies
And now and then
Another feather has fallen.
I have packed the handcart again
Packed it with the precious things
And thrown away the rest.

I will sing by the fires at night
Out there on uncharted ground
Where I am my own captain of tens
Where I blow the bugle
Bring myself to morning prayer
Map out the miles
And never know when or where
Or if at all
I will finally say,
“This is the place,”

I face the plains
On a good day for walking.
The sun rises
And the mist clears.
I will be alright:
My people were Mormon pioneers.

Kind & Quiet Family

It has been a… week. Two of Scott’s very LDS siblings and their families that live half-way across the country have been in town. They've invited me and the kids (and Scott) to join them in several outings, including a family dinner party at the parents’ house. Scott of course refused all invitations, but for the sake of the kids seeing some of their favorite cousins, I have participated. Grandpa even paid for the older two to attend EFY (Especially for Youth) with three of their cousins at BYU in Provo this week.

Everyone has been really nice. No one has said anything homophobic or judgmental even though I had opportunities to make it very clear that the kids and I no longer attend church very often at all (since one of the kids had no dress shoes that fit to take with him to EFY). They have been nicer and more inclusive than I would have ever imagined, and yet it has been very hard for me. In fact, at the family party, I broke down and began to cry and was unable to stop, even after getting home that night. I cried myself to sleep and continued to be a bit weepy the next morning until my straight spouse therapist friend came over and helped me work through it.

Why, for no apparent reason, would I suddenly have this breakdown?

My friend and I decided that just because there wasn’t one huge obvious reasons, doesn’t mean that there weren’t many many little reasons that added up to a breaking point for me.

In no particular order:

1. One of these family members had to have called our bishop four years ago and lied to us about it. Someday I would love for whomever it was to come clean and apologize. In the meantime, I struggle with forgiveness for that person, my former bishop, and my current stake president.

2. Last summer when one of the same families was in town, at my father-in-law’s request, they told their children that Scott and I were divorcing, but they flat out lied to them when the kids asked them why and the parents said they didn't know.

3. Three summers ago when one of the other families was in town, they planned a backpacking trip with another local sibling with their kids, and Scott and my kids were not invited. When I found out that my kids would not be able to see their cousins because of this trip, I tried to see if my older kids could go too and was told no because it had been months in the planning and “they had not tried to hide it from us” even though I had absolutely no idea it was happening.

4. Recently I had a heated email conversation with the local sibling when I sent him (and everyone else) an email with a link to an article about teaching children about gay people. He specifically told me to leave him and the other siblings alone: Don’t send emails, don’t dress my kids in matching “Utah Gay Fathers” shirts and don’t give them story books about how some families have two moms or two dads. That I shouldn't tell him what to teach his children any more than he should tell me what to teach mine, even though he strongly believes that I should teach them that acting on homosexuality is a sin and contrary to God’s plan. I guess I should be grateful that he even responded, when all I get from the other siblings is dead silence.

5. Because of all of this past baggage, they don’t say a word to me about any of it and I am afraid to death to say anything to them. For example, they were discussing a video that one brother had made for his youth conference (he is a leader in the stake young men's organization) that was similar to the popular “Kid History” videos on YouTube. I wanted to tell them about the video that I had spent hours on that week, an “It gets better” video for straight spouses. But did I? Of course not. I was afraid to say anything for fear I would say something that would offend someone and make them uncomfortable. Instead, I became very uncomfortable and eventually broke down into an unstoppable torrent of tears.

6. Looming in the background were memories of a party with my family for my dad’s birthday just the week prior, where my dad told the restaurant owner and long-time friend of the family that my husband left me to find a boyfriend. His tone of voice was one of disgust, and I quickly glared at him and shared my own version of the story about Scott discovering his true self and how we are still best friends, parenting together from different homes. At the same party, Scott said he thought my brother had his back to him the entire time. My brother and his wife used to be Scott’s biggest fans, and now they don’t recognize his existence, even though all of their kids have left the church and one has two baby mommas, neither of which he has been married to. Do they give their own kids the same silent treatment? Gratefully, no. But it does seem rather hypocritical to me. Anyway, their wedding anniversary was the same day as Scott’s family party, and I had acknowledged it on Facebook. There was no indication that they recognized or appreciated the fact that I acknowledged it. Just painful silence, as usual.

7. I was also frustrated that Scott put himself first, and refused to attend the family party because of the tickets he purchased for the "Damn these Heels" gay film festival. We are both uncomfortable around his family, but it is not fair for our kids to suffer from our discomfort and therefore not be able to associate with their cousins. So I am the one that has to step up for his children at his family party. Granted he did go in April to the Easter party for that reason, but this really was time for him to be there again and help build those bridges with his family. To show that he is happy despite living a gay lifestyle.Yes, yes...I am a little bit bitter about that one. Sorry--I usually try not to complain about Scott because he is a great dad and has taken the kids overnight a few times this summer so I could have a break and he works so hard to earn the money to help support two households. And he helps with so many other things. But still, I have to acknowledge the frustration to truly process the situation with this post.

When I began to break down at the family party, I went in the den and closed the door and posted a depressed note on Facebook. Right after that, one of Scott’s step-sisters (a liberal one that has caused herself a lot of stress in her own life) came through the door and held me as I cried. She had seen my post on facebook on her smartphone and immediately came searching.

Later, when I was crying again, my father-in-law and I were a distance away from the rest of the family discussing the situation. I told him how I felt I didn’t fit in there, even though they were all nice and accepting of me. I told him I couldn’t participate in conversations freely because I was afraid I would say something I shouldn’t. I mentioned my video project and showed it to him. Scott’s parents have really come a long way, and I have no problem freely talking to them about anything when no one else is around. He commented about how my life is very narrow right now, and that I can’t see anything around me other than things that are related to “gay”. He was trying hard not to be critical of that, but just to mention his observation and that’s why I feel like I don’t fit in.

What I wanted to do was to look one member of the family in the eyes and ask him/her to tell me straight that he/she had not called our bishop. But I only saw this particular person one day and there was never a private moment to do such a thing.

I wanted to tell them about my straight spouse group and the article in the tribune. I wanted them to reach out to Scott while they were here, to apologize for making him feel rejected and somehow prove that they truly do love him. None of this love the sinner and hate the sin bunk that doesn’t really exist.

I want to email them all and tell them why I was crying, why I was uncomfortable, and say all the things I was unable to say in person. I want to send them a link to my video when it is done. I want them to understand and feel both my pain through this journey as well as my growth and my continued support and friendship with Scott. I want to tell them to stop sitting uncomfortably where they are, but to join support groups with other people who have gay family, to read “No more Goodbyes”, to somehow have it click that loving and supporting their brother is so much more important than what their church tells them about his behavior. And then to truly reach out and get to know the real him. To ask him about who he is dating, or how he has helped talk individuals out of suicide, or of his participation in the Utah Gay Father’s association and the good that they are doing for men that would otherwise be miserable, making their families miserable along with them and/or taking their own lives in desperation.


I want to.


I am afraid to.


But I probably will. When the video is done in a couple of weeks. And maybe, just maybe, this will be my last attempt to bridge some huge canyons in the family. Because if anything is going to change, it ultimately has to be their decision to take the right steps to make it happen.


In the mean time, I have no idea what to do about my own brother, and that simply breaks my heart more than I am willing to admit most of the time.


It gets better. It has to.

Lost Belief

I went to sacrament meeting today for the first time in 4 months, since the March fast and testimony meeting when someone talked about a cousin in their family with same sex attraction that everyone prayed for and then she married a man and their prayers were heard.

I purposely went today without my children, to take the sacrament and to ponder and pray. But the Mormon church is different to me now. As I listened to the testimonies, I thought about how they all said "I know the church is true." I have visited a few other religions over the past few months, and the people in those churches are also sure that their church is true! How can that be? Well, I guess I don't believe in "one true church" any more. I believe in God, and I believe that religion can be a good thing in our lives. But I felt like today during the meeting that I realized that one major issue with the Mormon church is that they appear to believe that they are the "one true church", which gives a feel that they are better than everyone else, that they are right on all of these issues when other churches or beliefs are wrong.

And so my issue is not with the imperfect people. It is truly with the church itself. I have been trying and trying to figure out a way for me to go back and get the kids to go back. But I don't think I can. I don't believe it to be the one true church, and so I think we can better worship the same loving God and Son and believe in the same basic plan of happiness by attending somewhere else where the pride is not so encompassing.

I keep thinking more and more about ordinances. Why would God require ordinances in order to live with him again? Why is the Mormon church--with all of its imperfections--the only one with the right to these precious ordinances. What is wrong with the compassionate people who commit themselves to God with baptism and sacrament in other churches? Why does it have to be one particular way?

The other thing that really bothers me is the issue of worthiness. Why is it that the souls who are in need of the most spiritual healing are the ones that can't take the sacrament or attend the temple? Why does it have to be exclusive? Why can't the church house homeless people in Colorado whose homes have burned to the ground, regardless of their adherence to the word of wisdom?

There is just so much that makes no sense to me any more, and I don't think I can do it. I think I must leave it behind and move on.

In the News

So, here is an update on my week. Of course there was my  guest post on Feminist Mormon Housewives last Saturday, which only generated very kind responses, but not a lot of responses. Has everyone been busy, or are the readers losing interest in the series? Or maybe the readers are learning from the ongoing, weekly stories and have fewer questions to ask and fewer dead horses to beat.

Monday morning, as the kids and I were getting ready to go paint some ceramics, I received a phone call from Peggy Fletcher Stack of the Salt Lake Tribune. She asked me to tell her my story, and specifically about starting the straight spouses Facebook group a little over a year ago, and also the recent website and effort to reach out to more spouses that might need support.

I shared as much as I could and the tears flowed. I don't often cry over everything anymore, but as I recalled the difficult times, especially with church leaders and with my last pregnancy, I became very emotional. Hmmm. It occurs to me now that the most emotional parts of my story are the ones that she included in her article.

Anyway, off the kids and I went for an afternoon of fun. So excited to get my ceramic small-appetizer-plate back--it is going to be EPIC. I promise to post photos. Scott entertained two of the uninterested children at his place, so the rest of us enjoyed letting our creativity flow, not worrying too much about the clock and time that passed.

That evening, it occurred to me that if the article ran the next day in the paper as Peggy said she hoped it would, that people would be directed to our new straight spouse blog/website. I quickly contacted a couple of the ladies that have really encouraged the outreach that we've done lately, and asked them to look over the website and help me figure out any quick edits that would make it better for the moment. Just as I was texting back and forth with one of them, Peggy called and said the article was online. She wanted me to look at it and correct any blatant errors if needed.

Woah.

The article is online.

It would be in the morning paper.

Weird emotions of fear, anxiety, excitement, and so on fell over me as I went online, found the article and began to read.

It was good. It presented different issues of mixed orientation marriages, from Josh and Lolly Weed and Ty and Danielle Mansfield to myself and my uber spiritual friend Jessica. Titled  "Group offers Help to Mormons whose Spouses are Gay" , the article starts and ends with promoting our Facebook group. It also, of course, speaks to the hype surrounding the Weed blog post earlier this month, which I blogged about  last week.

A couple of comments from me: At the end of the article, it says I am now divorced. This is a slight error since Scott and I have not yet done that last technical step. And I'm pretty sure I mentioned that to Peggy. But she also understood that divorce is inevitable, and we are divorced emotionally and physically, and mostly financially, down to our separate accounts and Scott's self-imposed generous child-support payments. It's just not legally divorce yet. We don't have the paper with the signature that says it's so--kind of like gay couples in Utah that have committed their lives to each other and consider themselves married, which they aren't really, unless they've taken the time to go to some other state to get that little piece of paper that says they are. Yes, Scott has dated other men for over two years now with my permission and blessing. I personally do not yet feel ready to start dating again yet, but I also don't want to date until we are divorced, so I think I'm ready to start working on those papers this summer so that when I'm ready to check out the other fish in the sea, I will also be legally and morally ready to do so. It is my own personal decision, and I really have no problem with those in my situation that have begun dating before their divorces have been final.

That was more than I planned to share. Oh well. :)

Moving on--my main concern with the article was this paragraph, and I sort of mentioned my discomfort with it on the phone that night, but it was obvious that Peggy felt it somewhat central to the piece and did not want to try to edit it:

Nicholson’s husband of 13 years, whom she had loved since they were madrigal partners in high school, told her he was gay. Latter-day Saints in her West Valley City ward kept saying gay-rights advocacy was Satan’s work, she says. Though the couple remained together at first and honored their marriage vows, several local Mormon leaders were not only unsympathetic, they also were openly hostile to the news.

So, being all about clarifications and honesty, here goes: there was one lady in my ward during one lesson (before Scott was out to anyone but me really ) that said something to the effect that the whole thing with gays wanting to get married was the work of Satan. No one else said that, nor did this lady keep saying it. But I guess the fact that the bishop asked me to repent of sending letters to these woman about my changed view of gay rights might also infer that he feels the same way about gay rights activism being Satan's work. And the fact that temple recommend worthiness was questioned because of our public views on gay rights and our associations with other gay Mormons also indicates that same mentality, I suppose. So I understand Peggy's interpretation. However, I have such good friends in my ward that have been nothing but supportive, and I didn't want any of them to read the article and feel like I was speaking against all of them in general.

The fact is, over the past four years, I have had several traumatic events at church relating to this new phase of my life and my views on LGBT rights, and even though the trauma has come from very few people, and I even believe that those people had only the best of intentions to help me and our family, Peggy heard the pain in my words and my emotions as I spoke of the experiences. And this paragraph of her article speaks to that pain that she shared with me for a few moments as I unloaded it on her. I just hope that those who have reached out to me, or even those in my ward that have quietly prayed for me, will know that I love them and recognize their efforts to just love and accept our family regardless of what we believe and how often we go (or don't go, rather) to church.

The tribune article received a lot of comments, both positive and negative. One thing that came up as a discussion in the comments was the thought that the men in mixed orientation marriages must be bisexual. To this idea, Scott wrote a response that some of us told him he should send in as a letter to the editor.

The other thing that I want to address with people is that to the world, the words "gay" and "homosexual" and even "same-sex attraction" all mean about the same thing these days. But to some old-school religious people, using the word "gay" automatically means living the gay lifestyle, or sin. To me, I don't differentiate. I never have. Scott blogged about this once long ago. (I will have to look up the link later). When he thought the words to himself "I am gay", he had one of the most spiritual and self-affirming experiences of his life, and yet he not done anything that would pertain to "the lifestyle". I don't look at my gay friends and say "he's gay because he sleeps around" or "He's gay because he has a boyfriend" or "he struggles with same-sex attraction but has been faithful to his wife" or "he is homosexual but is celibate." Why use different words to indicate if someone is a sinner or not? Why, in the words of Elder Uchtdorf and someone's bumper sticker, judge someone because they sin differently than we do? It's silly. It is so "The Scarlet Letter" era of thinking, in my opinion.

So get with the times. Use whatever terminology you personally want to use, but don't get all self-righteous with me because of what you consider my (or others) inappropriate use of the word "gay."

Next, (I'm almost done), some other noteworthy links and responses to these same topics.

• A news site in the UK picked up the SL Tribune Article and looked at the straight spouses website and subsequently wrote their own report.
• Huffington Post has also now picked up the story.
• Awesome response from "Single Dad Laughing", who not too long ago wrote another winning article titled "I'm Christian Unless You're Gay".
• Utah news story about the Weed post.
• Another blog post I read and enjoyed (From Dad's Primal Scream, "Women who Marry Gay Men". I'm sure there are many, many other responses out there).
• Ashley's crumbs--blog post about how allowing gay marriage would help families, and not allowing it actually hurts families (like hers and mine, for example.)

I would love for people to comment and post links to other blogs or articles that they have recently read on these topics. Thanks!