Sunday, March 1, 2009

Weekend Notes

Brief overview, just for my own records mostly:

MoHo Party - Loved it, as usual! New friends, old friends, laughter and good food. Probably the funniest thing was that two sets of friends (who have been to our house before) actually went to the next-door-neighbor's house first. I laughed and laughed when I found out. One was a moho and his moho friend, the second was a MOM couple. I apologized to my neighbor about it today at church. It didn't seem to have been a big deal, but I wonder what she was REALLY thinking. :) Thanks to everyone who came; and those who live too far away to come or had a conflict, please know that we still love you and wish we could meet you or see you again.

Oh, a couple of quick notes:

In the future, please let Scott know if you are bringing food and if possible what you are bringing (and don't feel obligated to bring anything!) I'm afraid Scott is a bit anal about his catering, so when no one said they were bringing anything, he insisted on planning a menu that would stand on its own, and thus we had waaayy too much food. (Thanks for what you did bring! It was all wonderful!)

Second, we have a few lost-and-found items: a men's dressy black coat from January's party, and a small sparkly hair clip from last night. Let us know if they belong to you and we will keep them safe for you.

FYI, girl scout cookies are in tomorrow and I need money for them by March 29th. So you can wait until the next party to get and pay for them, or make arrangements with us to get them sooner. Thanks!

Church Today - I have decided that I really need a calling out of the Relief Society. I guess I should start praying for it. :) Nothing was said specifically about anything that could possibly bother me, but I am just more uncomfortable in general than I would like to be. Today's lesson, topic chosen by the Relief Society Presidency, was on "Virtue". Apparently virtue was recently added as the 8th Young Women value. The word itself encompasses a lot of different things: chastity, integrity, strength, etc. It was an interesting discussion, but I was slightly uncomfortable with some of the comments, but not because of what was said, but because of what my own mind did with them.

One lady made a great comment about choosing to make a stand at Marie Calendars yesterday when they were out of the pie she wanted and they suggested that she come back today to get it. She politely told them, "No we won't do that on the Sabbath." That lead one of my neighbors to talk about how important it is to make a stand on things like that, especially so that our children can see our example and know where the line is between right and wrong. I started to feel guilty because last month when my daughter was selling girl scout cookies, it was a Sunday and one lady in the ward specifically asked her to come over so she could order cookies since the order form was due the next day. When we got home, my daughter decided she should run to another neighbors' house since she never made it over there, either, to sell cookies. I know my neighbors pretty well (they are awesome people but really churchy), so I suggested that she wait and run over the next day after school instead. She decided to go right then, and I shrugged and told her it was her decision. She came back dejected that the neighbor would not order cookies because it was Sunday. During the lesson today I suddenly felt like my neighbor was telling me that I should not have allowed my daughter to come selling cookies on Sunday, that I needed to set a more "virtuous" example for her. Now, she didn't really say this, and I have no way of knowing that is at all what she was thinking, but my mind always thinks things that she might have been thinking, and it drives me crazy.

Before that comment, another lady also made a comment about how important it is for us to stand up for what we know is true so that our children will not be confused. Even though I feel strongly that I am standing up for what I know is true, the fact that God loves all of his children, gay or straight, I couldn't help but think that she might be thinking that I am only confusing my children by standing up in favor of gay marriage. Maybe I am, but I don't care. :P

Family Party - Today is the first time we have seen anyone in Scott's family since we took a moho friend with us last month. Needless to say, I was a bit nervous. Scott emailed them, of course, right after we figured out exactly what had gone on. The email led to some conversations by phone and email with several of his sibblings, both steps and biological ones. I decided to start sending them tidbits of things to help them understand our lives a little better, such as blog comments and excerpts of blog posts. Two of the step-siblings wrote back and thanked me for sharing. My mother-in-law let us know how great Scott's email was. From the rest we have been met with silence. I don't know if they are reading them or just filtering them into their junk folders, but I had to try.

Anyway, tonight when we arrived, within 10 minutes one step-sister gave me a hug and thanked me again in person for the emails. Another step-sister came over to talk to us, tell us she had read the email, and that she was praying for us. She is kind of the black sheep of the family and has so many things going on in her own life, but she is doing well right now, and I told her that we had been praying for her as well. I had to hold back a few tears while we talked. I could sincerely feel of her love for us. A step brother came in and immediately talked to us, asked us how we were doing. A few minutes later when he and I happened to be crossing paths away from the hustle and bustle in the family room and kitchen, he told me how much he enjoyed my emails and the stories I shared.

No one totally ignored us, and the atmosphere was generally comfortable, but the only conversation that happened between us and a biological sister and brother was necessary conversation as we interacted, cleaning up from dinner or whatever. They both asked Scott a computer question or two. At one point Scott was sleeping and everyone wondered why he was so tired that he could sleep through such a noisy atmosphere, and I mentioned our party and all of his food preparations. The sister's husband asked about who the party was for, and I told him we have a monthly party with our blog friends. (Apparently he and his wife don't talk about it, because I KNOW that she knows about our parties.) My mother-in-law asked about what food he made, etc. It was a brief conversation, but not uncomfortable like some conversations of that nature have been in the past.

Later, as his step-mom was cutting my hair and we were alone in her beauty shop, we talked in more detail about things. Scott's dad read No More Goodbyes during the last month and she says he learned a lot. I think he is going to try to pass the book off to Scott's brother. Maybe he would actually consider reading it if it came from his dad. We haven't even dared suggest it. He and his wife refuse to be friends with us on facebook, although they "are [our] friends in real life." (Facebook is EVIL!)

Anyway, all in all, it was a good night, and hopefully things will get easier as time goes on. Understanding and accepting that all of this is not going away is going to take a little longer with some of them, but we can keep praying and hoping and loving all of them in the mean time. The children had a blast with their cousins, no one stormed off early, and everyone loved Scott's birthday desert, as usuall. It was nice to have things a bit back to normal.


Anonymous said...

Facebook is evil! I have many of the same problems. Oh wells.
It sounds like the party was awesome!
Hope you are doing well. I really love and appreciate both of your blogs. You two have no idea what angels you are to me.

LDS Pride said...

I give it a 70% chance the small sparkly hair clip belongs to one of the guys.


Hidden said...

Facebook IS Evil, but you already know my feelings on that.

WOW. That would be SO HUGE if Bro took the book from Dad. That would just be... WOW.

How is Black Sheep doing? She still going strong? Slipped up again? What's the latest?

Anonymous said...

Facebook is of the devil!! I don't know why I still insist on having such a petty, lame social networking account! Yet, I still love it deep down. ;)

Scott said...

I'm afraid Scott is a bit anal about his catering...

In my defense, I .... you know what, she's right. I am a bit [I think I would prefer a word like uptight] when it comes to party food. :)

... and am I the only one who doesn't think Facebook is evil? It's what people do with it that's not always so great. (Sort of like "guns don't kill people, people kill people"?)

Hidden: Thanks for your concern re: Black Sheep. She's doing great! No slip-ups! We're really happy for her! :)

El Genio said...

I love facebook! :) Of course, it makes it even more interesting when you consider that my entire extended family is on there - including my grandma, and my dad.

About the RS lesson/comments - I can totally sympathize. We had stake conference this weekend, and we still had to hear about prop 8 in every single talk (insert gagging sound here).

Hidden said...

Aw come on Scott, join the hate! I'm going to join facebook just to start a hate facebook group. You know you wanna join.

Scott said...

Hidden, if it gets you on Facebook, I'll promise to join your "I hate Facebook" group. :)

Bravone said...

Sarah, Great to see you last night. Thank you for your kind words and support. Thank you for your friendship.

Sarah said...

LOVE: Thanks for the comment, from one angel to another. :)

LDS Pride: we did have a total of 5 females at the party, 2 that live here. But it could belong to a woman, or maybe it is something my 11-year-old picked up on the playground. That is actually most likely, I think.

Hidden: we are praying for the best with Scott's family. And I will also join your facebook group. Bring it on. :P

D: facebook is definitely a love/hate relationship :)

Scott: Sorry :D Love you!

El Genio: Do you live in CA? Stake Conference all on Prop 8? Well, that sound like an inspired conference! (NOT!) I'm glad you survived it!

Bravone: The absolute best part of last night was seeing you and your wife. Love you guys! I hope there isn't another 3 months before we see you again. Hang in there!

Vanessa said...

I just had to comment on the not buying girl scout cookies on Sunday. I really think that's just over the top churchy and really lame to do that to a little girl. I would have bought some from her!

Sarah said...

Thanks, Vanessa, but I was not at all surprised, and I don't fault her for it. They just hold to different standards than we do, but they are very nice people.

I thought there was a chance she might order anyway since it is just an order and no money involved until they are delivered. And isn't selling cookies kind of like a service project to support the girl scout organization, anyway? The girls get a bit of credit to use toward scout activities or merchandise, but most of it goes to other running costs for the organization itself.

Our daughter apparently apologized for coming on Sunday, but told her that it was because the order form was due the next day and she would not have time to come back. The neighbor then said something to the affect of "Well, then I guess we won't buy any girl scout cookies this year."

Oh well. No big deal.